5 things that belong in my Room 101
Love me, love my ways.
Now that I know you all a bit better, I thought it was about time I gave you a glimpse into the ‘World according to Jane’ with my Room 101 nominations.
I am taking a massive risk here…You may read this and conclude that I am as ‘mad as a box of frogs’ and never visit my little corner of the blogging universe ever again! Well, you are going to find out sooner or later that I have many weird quirks and foibles. Let it be clear that I also have a lot of completely sensible traits such as loving my family, friends, Lindt Lindor chocolate and Hugh Jackman.
That said, let me bare my soul and tell you what really gets on my nerves! I want to say ‘things I hate’, but I am always telling my kids that ‘hate is a very strong word’ and that you shouldn’t really ‘hate’ things, not even sprouts, whelks, kidneys or men wearing lycra cycling shorts. Well, maybe the last one.
Introducing Room 101
I’m sure most of you have heard of Room 101. For the uninitiated, Room 101 is the BBC comedy television series based on the radio series of the same name. In the show, celebrities are invited to discuss their pet hates and persuade the host to consign those hates to oblivion in Room 101. For those of you who like trivia, the name of the show was inspired by the torture room in the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four which reputedly contained “the worst thing in the world”.
So here goes, please don’t leave me 😉
My 5 nominations for Room 101
1. SmartOne toilet paper dispensers.
These outrageously annoying devices deserve to be consigned to Room 101, never to be seen again. Find out why in my earlier post: SmartOne toilet paper dispensers
2. Cubes in food.
“What on earth is she on about?”, I hear you say! Let me explain…I love trifle: I love the jelly, I love the custard, I even love the moist sponge they put in some ‘posh’ trifles. What I absolutely cannot understand is why someone would spoil a perfectly good trifle by putting fruit cubes in the jelly! There you are, eyes closed in bliss as you sample a spoonful of trifle, you taste the deliciously smooth jelly, revel in the cool creamy smoothness of the custard, until you hit a fruit cube! What is that all about?! I don’t want a lumpy, sharp-edged fruit cube in my lovely creamy trifle, thanks very much. It’s just plain wrong!
That goes for Branston pickle as well. I don’t want big crunchy cubes of vegetable in my sandwich. I don’t want my tongue hitting a sharp, pointy-edged, glistening cube amidst my lovely soft bread roll. Thankfully Cross and Blackwell realised their chunky old relish wasn’t going down well with people like me. They relented, shoving Branston Pickle, ginormous cubes and all, into a blender: ‘Hey Presto!’, Branston Pickle ‘Small Chunk’ was born.
I can cope with small chunk…Just.
Hubby is the opposite. He likes food he needs to chew. He doesn’t mind chewing his way through cubes, chunks and gristly bits that have found their way into food that really should be smooth, (in my opinion). In fact, he struggles with things like mashed potato, tuna mayonnaise and creamed foods because he feels like someone has ‘beaten him to it’ and chewed it already.
And you thought I was weird?!
Are you with me? Are you ‘Team Hubby’ or ‘Team Jane’?
Come on! I know I’m not the only one who wants 110% (or multiples thereof) thrown into Room 101. Now, before the mathematicians among you object, I am not talking about those occasions when it’s being used correctly. I realise if something increases in price from £1 to £2.10, it actually has increased by 110%. I don’t have a problem with that. What does get on my nerves is when people say things like:
Well done! You gave that 110% effort!
No they didn’t! You can’t possibly give more than 100% effort! 100% effort is the most you can give! This applies to people who agree with someone 120%, 200% or 300%! You can’t even agree with someone 101%, never mind 300%!
The worse culprits are judges on shows like X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent. They don’t just vote ‘Yes’, they vote ‘One million percent yes!’ Really? One million percent? You can’t have one million percent, Simon.
No wonder the kids of today are struggling with their SATs exams.
4. Dry sponge.
You know how someone dragging their finger nails down a blackboard can set people’s teeth on edge? For me, its dry sponge. I’m not even joking. The worse kind of sponge is that really dry synthetic sponge. I don’t know what it is about it but I really can’t bear it. I don’t like to touch it or see other people touching it because it is all dry and squeaky. It makes a shiver go down my spine.
In fact, one of my worst nightmares would be someone rubbing me all over with dry sponges and ‘squeaking’ me to death. Too much information? Was that the sound of hundreds of readers simultaneously clicking their mouse on another tab of their browser to escape my weirdness, (I’m being optimistic about how many people are actually reading this).
I don’t mind wet sponge though. I can cope with wet sponges. Once you add a sponge to water it has been rendered completely harmless. It has been effectively neutralised and poses no imminent threat to life. It no longer squeaks or scratches. It no longer feels horrible to touch. It’s all good.
Moving swiftly on…For those that are still with me…
5. ‘Big Belly’ binsA few years ago, the traditional metal rubbish bins in Nottingham Town Centre were replaced by new, ultra modern bins. The traditional bins were a pretty basic affair, with an opening at the top so you could throw your rubbish into them.
These new ‘Big Belly’ bins are ‘all the rage’ because they are environmentally friendly, solar-powered, rubbish-compacting bins. They can be used for mixed waste and recycling and there’s even somewhere to place your used cigarette stubs.
So far, so good! Until you want to put some rubbish in them. That’s when you realise their fatal flaw. You have to touch the big, metal, germ-infested handle to open the hatch and deposit your rubbish.
I have a bin in my kitchen that I open by touching it, but I disinfect it regularly and I only have to deal with the germs of my nearest and dearest, not the entire population of Nottingham. Who knows how many people have been touching that bin, never mind their level of personal hygiene.
Is it just me who thinks the Big Belly bin is a massive retrograde step? When I spotted these space-aged new bins with their gleaming solar panels, I thought they would open automatically as soon as I approached them with my empty wrappers. I thought they would sense my need to get rid of the evidence of the twenty Lindt chocolate balls I had scoffed before I picked the kids up from school. But no, I had to reach out and touch the sticky, ‘germy’ handle.
It’s the same when you go to a public toilet these days. They’ve installed automatic flushes you don’t have to touch. They’ve dispensed with those unhygienic rolls of cloth you pull on to dry your hands. Instead they have been replaced with hand dryers so powerful and noisy that small children burst into tears as their ear drums burst and the skin is ripped from their little hands. They’ve got automatic soap dispensers and automatic taps. The problem is, they haven’t installed an automatic door so you can get out of the loos without touching the handle that a million other folks have touched. And we all know there will have been a fair few of them who won’t have bothered to wash their hands at all.
Admit it, when some of you reach for that door handle, you do exactly what I do and try and touch it somewhere you think no one else has touched. Am I right? Or you hover near the door as the jet-powered hand dryer pummels your hands to bits with its sheer force, hoping that someone else will open the door for you so you can slip through without touching anything.
My room 101 runners-up.
- Shop assistants who insist on giving you your change by putting the bank note in your palm first and then balancing all the coins on top of it so you invariably drop them as you faff about trying to get the note in your purse/wallet.
- People who throw chewing gum on the pavement…usually within 2 inches of an actual bin…More of a possibility with Big Belly bins, I might add.
Over to you!
So there you have them, my Room 101 nominations.
Obviously, I think they all deserve to be there but maybe that’s just me.
So if there’s anyone still out their reading this after I have ‘outed’ myself as a complete ‘nutter’ (as we say ‘up North’), why not tell me what you want to put in your Room 101.
I can’t wait to hear from you!
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Oh I love this!! I need to do one! The coin balancing grrrrr…and the 110% would definitely get my husband’s vote! But erm…dry sponges?? Haha!
I wish I could find just one more person with an aversion to dry sponge! When my hubby and I were dating, he was doing an audit at a factory and he popped over to my house with a big bag full of freebies that he was given by the company…A bag of DRY SPONGES!!!!!!! He wondered why I completely freaked out!
Laughing at “dry sponge”. And with you on the 110% crap. A big offender on The Apprentice too.
Dry sponges…I know,I am 100% weird…Not 110% weird though, let me be clear about that! I don’t think I have ever met anyone with the same dry sponge affliction as me!!
Haha brilliant! I may have to do one of these posts. Totally with you on the bins and the chunky food! Except chocolate brownie chunks in ice cream, obviously. My baby boy was crying at the hand dryer the other day, too.
In defence of smart loo roll dispensers, having been barmaid and cleaner in the pub they do reduce the amount of loo roll you have to pick up off the floor by around 80%, so they do have their uses.
Great idea, I may steal it!
I want to read yours! I don’t want to be alone in my weirdness!
You are funny! There is definitely nothing wrong with cubes. I know LOADS of people who hate dry sponges, so don’t worry – you are not alone. And as for the change on top of notes; I have been known to actually hug shop assistants who do it the ‘right’ way.
I like crunchy food, not pureed food too.
In my Room 101 would be:
1. Bagpipes – the worst thing ever invented, worse than nuclear bombs etc…
2. People who drive too slowly during rush hour (e.g. maintaining a constant 45 mph on a motorway in the middle lane at 8AM.)
3. Matrix signs telling you to slow down on the motorway when there is no longer any need to.
4. Bargain Hunt
5. People who spoil films you have been waiting for for years by telling you key plot details.
3. Yes! 4. Yes (or any programme where your team uniform is a fleece 5. Yes!
But, crunchy food!!!! Noooooooo, Ed!
My room 101 shortlist (always wanted to do this!):
1. Those ghastly fake topiary balls people hang outside their front door and which over time take on a blue hue to their fake green colour.
2. Horsey speak, specifically when someone is trying to sell a horse. For example, “good to do in all ways”, “plenty of feather”, “knows his job”….just speak normally please!!!
3. People who rigidly stop at roundabouts/give way signs even when there are no vehicles approaching.
4. People who call me ‘love’ when they’re at least 10 years my junior. (I have no issue with it from people older than me).
5. Texting abbreviations, most specifically…hate myself for writing it now but…LOL…and it’s evil twin PMSL – just hideous.
Hi Nic! Thanks for getting into the spirit of it. It took me ages to work out what PMSL was 😉 I have to confess to using lol…lol 😉
Peas, fleeces with wolves, bagpipes, itchy jumpers, patchouli oil! x
I am with you are on all of those points particularly dry sponges (hated them since I was a child). I would also put in people that spit, paritciurly the ones that make the horrendous phlegmy sound with it before spitting *vom* X #kcacols
Yay! Another sponge-phobe!! Thanks for speaking up! Thanks for visiting!
How is it that when you are reversing out of your parking space in the supermarket people decide to walk past you as if they have a death wish or something! Or is it just my car?
At least you didn’t try to run over your own pushchair like I did! Thankfully none of the kids were in it!
Haha! I’m totally with you on 110% – what’s wrong with 100%!? And chunks in food are just gross – ditto on the Branston #fortheloveofBLOG
Yay! Another recruit 😉
This post reminds of my English lessons when I was at school – we had to write about the torture room in Nineteen Eighty-Four and I wrote about my immense hatred of ketchup. I actually felt sick writing about being locked in a room and confronted by ketchup running down the walls and on the floor and was everywhere I touched. Urgh, I feel ill just thinking about it!
Love all your “entries” to Room 101! #fortheloveofBLOG
Ketchup! You poor thing! That probably pops up a lot more than sponge! Thanks for your comments and for stopping by.
I agree with you on the toilet roll dispenser! How awkward and annoying!
Other things, I would add are rude people. There is no excuse for rudeness, manners cost nothing. Also people who don’t give up their seats for the more needy! Slam them in room 101, with no chairs!!!
I agree with you there! Room 101 is getting pretty crowded 😉
Ha ha I love this – Room 101 is such a good show and I did a similar post as part of my 30 day blog challenge! A great read xx #KCACOLS
I agree with a lot of these, particularly the bins and not touching toilet door handles. I now take a spare piece of toilet roll out with me to open the toilet door, here in the US they often have a dispenser right beside the door, the tricky bit is then balancing the door on your foot while trying to reach the bin! #KCACOLS
We need those dispensers in the UK! Thanks for your comments.
This is brilliant! I am totally with you on the chunks in jelly, I hate it!
Okay, those bins sound like something that would make me want to cry. Also, I *hate* the whole coins-on-top-of-the-note thing. I am a shop manager and I NEVER do this to my customers. They get their coins first, then their notes. It’s jus common sense! #KCACOLS
I am so glad you understand and abide by the correct change giving protocol 😉
We once had to this exercise at work and I went for silly petty annoyances. The person after me didn’t really get the spirit of the game and went for topics like ‘war’ and ‘poverty’.
My votes are for commuting, people on quiet coaches that don’t get that the clue is in the title, people listening to music on their phone speakers in public, management buzz speak and of course the TV show Max and Ruby.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Management buzz speak…Is that like ‘management cliches?’ we used to play ‘cliche bingo at work (covertly). ‘Blue sky thinking’, ‘Singing from the same hymn sheet.’ etc
Oh how I laughed reading this…..particularly the SmartOne toilet roll holder, I was thinking what these were until I scrolled down. Why do they even exist, they only dispense one sheet at a time – they are so annoying! The big belly bin thing would definitely annoy me, and I know what you mean about noisy hand drivers, it’s the worst part of service stations for me, just how loud they really are! I love this room-101 list, such a clever idea hun. Thanks so much for joining our party at #fortheloveofBLOG, hope you can come back next week. Claire x
Thanks, Claire! I have really enjoyed linking up.
This is so funny, I just spluttered a laugh out loud and my son jumped and said I scared him…it was the sponges, such a funny piece. I cannot stand to be near, hear, see and certainly not touch polystyrene in any form, my mouth waters and everything on me bristles, it’s not normal. I used to say that I was allergic to it (which I’m not) just so people would take me seriously and not fart around with it near me.
The core of tomatoes are horrid and I can’t eat them…yes they do have a core, I can see it and its yuk! So, no you’re not alone! 🙂
Thanks sooo much for your lovely comment. I feel your pain, Mainy! Sponge is a close relative of polystyrene…I consider you a kindred spirit 😉
I hate it when people joke around with sponges near me as well. You wouldn’t do that if people hated spiders or something! Eeeshk!
Thanks for stopping by.
Oh these are brilliant! I am so with you when it comes to bins and public toilet door handles! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday x
I LOVE this! I have a never ending list for room 101. Does that make me a moaner! But especially up there is men in cycling shorts, I mean WHY? Also why we are at it who invented bike seats to be the most uncomfortable seats in the world. Surely by now we could have come up with a comfy bike seat. Which then brings me to the gym, a place I rarely go! Who designed gym changing rooms so that we all have to congregate in the nude in front of massive mirrors, under harsh lighting! I do not want to see myself in the noddy, in front of a room full of strangers! Also those blooming vending machines at the swimming pool which always hang onto the sweets I have paid for. Grrr. I am going to stop now as I have ranted enough but really I could carry on ranting!
Ha Ha! You NEED to do a Room 101 post, Emma, I am laying down the gauntlet…And soon! Mind you, I still need to do the ‘non-negotiables’ homework you set me a while back! But I need to remind you before you get carried away (although I would love to read the ‘carried away’ post) it’s ROOM l01 not Mansion 101 😉 However, if you are going to be ‘lobbing’ gym and lycra related items into it I fully support your planning request to add an extension!
I love that tv show! Completely agree with the toilet paper dispenser! #kcacols
haha can relate to alot of these. im with you on the cubes. pickle in general would be in my 101! and change on the note – yep. And the 101% bit too.
At first I was wondering why you wanted these things in your bedroom. Now I re read it I understand what you are doing. Lol I think lots of things should go into the room, but I like your list for a starting point. 🙂 #KCACOLS
For some reason I like reading about people’s dislikes – it shows more of a honest passion, in my opinion.
I quite like this idea and don’t worry you’re not too much of a nutter!
I absolutely despise fruit cubes in trifle and really don’t like the cake in the jelly either. The texture is all wrong in my mouth I can’t handle it.
I also really hate sticky hands or just anything dirty on my hands. I have an OCD case of finding anything on my hands not natural unfathomable and it’s gross and disgusting.
So truly I am the nutter there!
great post! #KCACOLS
HeHe. Nothing wrong with being a nutter 😉
Oh my word, seriously, why do they give you the note first and then the coins?! Drives me mad! And I’m completely with you on the 110% thing! One that really gets me is when people try and sound formal and impressive by using ‘myself’ and ‘yourselves’ when it doesn’t actually make sense to do so – “Please can you send that to myself by Monday” – argh! x #KCACOLS
Yay! another recruit for the 110% and coin thing! Thanks for stopping by, Madeline.
OMG I never thought about the amount of germs on the bin handles until you said – they defo need to go in room 101! I am also in total agreeance over the large chunk pickle, the small chunk is so much more palletable and doesn’t ruin a good sandwich #KCACOLS
LOL! I am so glad you agree! Thanks for stopping by.
Can I just say as a shop assistant I never do that I promise it is so freaking annoying i always lose my change all over the floor, I would never do that to someone else!
Those smart one toilet roll things are the devil seriously what is with them?!?!? #kcacols
‘Tracey, Queen of Shops’….You need to go around the shops of the UK and show them how it is done! Thanks for stopping by!
Loved the title of this post! My top room 101 bugbear has to been swimming pool lane etiquette and people who don’t adhere to the ‘rules’ – even if they are unspoken! #thelist
Snort! Yes to the swimming pool thing…Or people who ignore the posters at the side of the pool and engage in ‘heavy petting’ or ‘bombing’!
Ha ha – love this! Agree with you 110% ? Especially re small chunk vs big chunk xx #thelist
Yay! Another small chunk lover! Thanks, Laura.